sooo irritated

ok so i went to the dentist today to talk about getting my wisdom teeth out and i'm going to have an x-ray tomorrow BUT the surgical consult isn't until February next yr which means no more trying more a baby till some time after then, far out by the time we have another baby naima will be 5, so much for a small age gap!
I'm starting to feel like i cant even be bothered anymore its just so much effort and i feel so drained. i am suppose to have a cycle day 21 blood yest next month to check if im ovulating but i might as well wait it out till after i get my teeth out next yr. i just want to sleep for a few months and see how i feel latter...... uuuuuurrrrrgggghhh

Q&A

skye asked:
1.how did your non Muslim friends take it,did u loose them over your reversion? i had been talking about Islam alot to them prior to accepting Islam, i think they didn't really believe that it was going to ever happen so there was no reaction until i did revert. then they weren't very pleasant with me. I'm sure to 14 and 15yr old i was a big bore but id rather be boring than misguided and foolish.

2.this might be a bit personal totally understand if you don't wanna answer it,I'm just fascinated that a Australian married another Australian revert I'm used to hearing Aussie marrying a Arab how did u meet your husband etc.. i will be doing a post on this soon ishallah so you my dear will just have to wait :)

3.im not sure if im correct but i remember you mentioned something about overseas,did you study islam overseas and how was it? yes my husband and i lived in south Africa. a yr after we got married we sold all our things (that we had just bought!) and moved there so we could study deen.

4.how long after your reversion did you start wearing abaya? about 6months after i accepted Islam i was given an abaya so i started from then. i desperately wanted one before that but there was no where to get one so i had to wait.

5.how was your first ramadan? lol it was terrible i was grounded the whole time including eid and i lost so much weight that my periods stopped. funny thing is, i loved every second of it.


6.was it hard living with your parents after you reverted? it was very difficult at times. i would refer to my house as Gaza, dad was the peace keeper, mum was the suicide bomber ready to blow at any moment and i was the kid throwing stones at tanks trying to defend myself. i was kicked out 3 times, all 3 times id walk for hours not knowing where to go, id end up calling someone to come get me and id crash on their couch for a few days until my dad would call to tell me to come back.

mami asked:
...cant you please write about how you meet your husband and how everything went ? i will be posting on this soon inshallah

Anti-social Muslimah asked:
From your last post I gather you went to an all girls school? How did they react? Girls can be bitchy at the best of times. Was there any other Muslims at ur school? yes i went to an all girls catholic school (my dad isn't catholic if your wondering) the girls were just like any other teenagers they find someone to pick on and they don't stop until they leave, then still talk about them once they are gone.

Stacy aka Fahiima asked:
How is your relationship with your mom now? I hope its better esp. since she's a grandmother now. its better now, i still find it difficult sometimes but i try to look past it. Naima has definitely helped our relationship, prior to having her my parents would never visit me, now mum is over as soon as she gets the chance!

NoortheNinjabi asked:
Did your mom ever bring you to the temple?
no but my other relatives did a few times when i was young.

Becoming muslim part 4 - Q&A

as salam alaikum, there has been a few questions in the comments of my "becoming Muslim" posts so i thought it would be a good idea to answer any questions you might have in another post. So if you have a question please comment on this post asking whatever you like about me, even if its not related to my conversion story. :) thanx Keenah xoxox

Becoming Muslim part 3

Soon enough the time arrived and the entire day i was nervous. i must have called my friend 100 times asking her things like
"so do i have this right? i dont want to get it wrong, AshHaduAllaa Ilaaha Il-lallaah Wa AshHadu Anna Muhammadar Rasullulah"
"do i wear hijab when im coming there or do i wear it after?"
"what do i wear!"
"what will my mum wear?"
"where will my dad be?"
finally it was time to leave to house and drive to my friends place, it was a fairly long drive and it was very awkward.
once we arrive we sat in the lounge room and waited for the imam to arrive, once he was there everybody sat down and the imam started to talk about Islam and what it is to be a Muslim, he asked me if i was sure that i want to be a Muslim and i said yes. first he asked me to say the shahada in Arabic and then in English, i got the Arabic down fine but i stumbled on the English!
once that was done he spoke to my parents and then my dad, the imam and my friends husband went in another room.
Including my new friend there were 5 sisters there. her sister had just accepted Islam the day before me so we talk alot and we are still very good friends even though she now lives overseas.
we had some wonderful food and i had meat for the first time in 2yrs!
The drive back home was a mix of emotions, i was so excited and happy but i felt bad at the same time. Both my parents were there to witness my shahada although it was more out of curiosity than acceptance.
I started wearing hijab full time from that day, prior to that i had worn it here and there. to the fish shop, around the house, going for a walk. just trying to get use to have having something on my head.
this is a good example of the outfits i would wear as a new Muslim, before i got my first abaya that is :D

Untitled by sakeenah_ featuring Yves Saint Laurent

Becoming Muslim part 2

I was goggling one of those Hamsa hand thingamabob's when i unknowingly clicked an Islamic site in the list outlining certain bida and shirk and of course what was on the list along with the hamsa hand? self harm on the day of Ashura. i don't think I've ever been so determined in my entire life but as soon as i got the chance i bought a Quran and read it in the space of a week. once i was finished i was 100% sure from that point on that i wanted to be a Muslim for the rest of my life.
I tried my best to find sisters to talk to online as i didn't know any in real life and i did find a few in chat rooms. some were fantastic and very helpful, others had terrible advice and certainly dint have my best interest at heart.
I told my parents what i wanted to be a Muslim while we were on holiday in Queensland visiting my mums gigantic family.
"You cant!" mum said
"why not mum you said i could choose" i replied
"yes but not that! anything but that"
i was so upset, i didn't know what to do so i waited and kept reading about Islam trying to find a way to convince my mum i wasn't crazy.

A few months latter i got in contact with the Islamic Society of South Australia the brother on the phone gave my number to a revert sister who left a message on my home phone saying to call her back. I was so nervous and i didn't want to tell my parents what was going on just yet so i called her from my friends cell phone in the toilets at school. She asked if i thought it would be a good idea for her to come speak to my mum and i said yes so we arranged a time.
That night i was so scared to tell my parents. i kept pacing around upstairs trying to think of a way to tell them in the end i just went down stairs and stood in front of the tv and announced with tears already welling up in my eyes,
"i have something i want to tell you and I'm going to be really upset if you get angry, i want to be a Muslim and there is a lady coming to speak to you about it next week"
"what? i though you were over that?" my said
"no mum nothings changed, i just wanted to give you some space" i replied
"thank god! i thought you were going to say that you had a boyfriend, I'm glad it was just this!" dad said
"well if your going to be a Muslim then you have to be a real one and wear all that gear" mum said expecting me to object
"that's fine i want to anyway" i said happily
"FINE!" she yelled leaving the room.

soon enough the sister arrived and spoke to my parents (mainly my mum) and answered any questions they had. Mum was relatively well behaved although she was sitting there with a glass of red wine in one hand and a cigarette in the other the entire time. We organizes a date for my to say my shahada at my new Muslim friends house and dinner of course.
School holidays were coming up so i planned to make my shahada then so we could inform my school that their would be some slight changes to my uniform.

My dad who had been so unphased by the whole thing went in to talk to my Principal about my impending conversion and as far as i know there was no trouble and the Principal said he would inform the teachers and come speak to the girls in my year level to encourage them to be kind with me and not judgmental....YEAH RIGHT!
... part 3 tomorrow :)

becoming a muslim part 1

this has been requested a bazillion times so i think its time to do it.
It all started in the summer of 2001/2002 after attending the confirmation of my class mates and having to sit in the back of the church i started quizzing my parents on why i was never given a religion like the other kids were, my mum put it simply by saying "we couldn't deiced and we don't really know anything anyway so if your interested you can go do some research"
I then started reading about Christianity and its many denominations i spoke to the 2 priests at the church attached to my school and to be honest they weren't much help and i quickly moved on to Judaism, by this time i had started the 8th grade and had access to alot more books so i took the biggest one i could find on Judaism and hauled it home. Sitting at the dinner table with the book on my lap my dad inquired,
"What do you have there April?"
"It appears to be a big book about Jews" i replied smiling
"The Jews are backwards" he laughed jokingly
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" mum screamed from the kitchen
"Exactly my point" dad whispered pointing at mums direction
I quickly made my exit before mum could make it back in the room to give dad a talking to, I'm sure she made him watch Schindler's list after that out burst.
i do find it rather amusing that my Mum only brings up her Jewish heritage when either
a) someone makes a stupid comment
or b) she is talking about our family being multicultural, then i have to remind her that being from different parts of Europe is barely multicultural.

Anyway moving on, i read the book from cover to cover and i was pleased but i just wanted to read about one more religion, ISLAM. I couldn't find any books at my local library So i checked at school and found one book on janaza (Islamic burial) so i skipped the books and tried the internet. I found alot of info and i was impressed until i saw pictures of the day of Ashura and i was terrified, i quickly moved back on to Judaism and pretty much decided that this would be the way i would go until...
.... to be continued
Tune in tomorrow or part 2

baju kurung & baju kebaya! soooo pretty

i want to get a baju kurung & baju kebaya!
i like wearing other countries national dress its always nice to wear something a little different from my usual shit, skirt home ensemble.
where can i get one? I WANT ONE :D
whats your counties national dress? maybe i can try that too:)